As
I was involuntarily bobbing my head to "Aaj blue hai paani paani paani paani.." (Though I have to tip my hat off to Yo Yo Honey Singh for refreshing
his vocabulary for this one), I knew that life, as I knew it, was soon coming
to an end. Yaariyan is a movie about five, for want of a better word, horny
college students with no other ambition in life apart from kissing members from
the opposite sex. The movie begins with a slow-mo shot of Lakshay, the
not-so-charming protagonist, chasing after a girl to get his first kiss, who
for some reason is barely clothed despite living in the cold temperatures of Sikkim. The guiding motive
in this entire movie is to protect the college campus from an Australian
takeover which would convert the campus to a casino. In order to win the
premises, college students from India and Australia would compete in a 5-round
competition. The rest of the movie is a blur, to be honest. Since the movie is
targeted to the youth, who according to the makers of the film are interested
in nothing but sex and booze, the music composers put together 2 party tracks -
Yo Yo Honey Singh's "Aaj blue hai paani paani.." and ABCD for the
pyjama party, which was nothing short of an orgy.
There
were so many moments which left me completely baffled. Like how Saloni, the
archetypal scholar’s winning chess move miraculously brought Debu (Lakshay's childhood best-friend) back to life
only to kill him in a few minutes just to give the Indian team enough
motivation to win, and was actually ruthless to the poor boy who had tried to
protect the Indian team’s honour. Or how Saloni, went from being the shy,
reserved, fully-clothed Indian girl to naval-showing, asymmetrical skirt
wearing bimbo in just seconds, and for what? To win the playboy’s heart. Or what TVS scooters were doing in Australia? Or what a homosexual was doing at a girl’s Swayamvar. Mind-boggling, I tell you. But the worst bit was to see Debu
die to arouse patriotic feelings in Lakshay long enough to win the competition.
Yaariyan
has got to be one of the worst movies I have seen in my lifetime. The shoddy
plotline, mediocre acting, unrealistic dialogues, ridiculous costumes, horrible
music and atrocious direction did not add to its likability. Hey, but don’t
let me stop you from watching it!
Until then, enjoy the foot-tapping beats of Mr. Yo Yo here.
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